just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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