It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
