I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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