Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
