No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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