Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
