Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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