Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
