R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
