Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
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I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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