I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
