If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
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What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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