If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
