i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
