we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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