Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We're too hungover to prance.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????