Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.

Fav 17 4291 966
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

Fav 44 6665 1062
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

Fav 28 2479 5161
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes

Fav 8 3500 966
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem

(914): View more from New York

Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.

Fav 53 7785 2817
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.

Fav 30 1246 5170
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(979): View more from Texas

Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

Fav 4 2299 835
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

Fav 2 569 1092
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????

Fav 1 109 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT