It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.