I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.