Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it. http://tfl.nu/k1p6
  Replies (7) Good night (701) Bad night (3503)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper. http://tfl.nu/rdz6
  Replies (35) Good night (1913) Bad night (2756)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep http://tfl.nu/5i99
  Replies (21) Good night (1196) Bad night (2565)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (28) Good night (6965) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have? http://tfl.nu/03l6
  Replies (23) Good night (3133) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  That wasn't intended for you, my bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me. (1-304): That wasn't intended for you, my bad. http://tfl.nu/hfz2
  Replies (23) Good night (5632) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes. http://tfl.nu/y0td
  Replies (10) Good night (3487) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky. http://tfl.nu/4mz4
  Replies (264) Good night (2656) Bad night (27502)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day. http://tfl.nu/q3s7
  Replies (20) Good night (4078) Bad night (1646)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform." http://tfl.nu/nw1x
  Replies (11) Good night (5357) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd
  Replies (11) Good night (889) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start. http://tfl.nu/94bc
  Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber. http://tfl.nu/iuw9
  Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again http://tfl.nu/w7l0
  Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (620)

Randomize