Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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  (517): I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house. http://tfl.nu/y6v5
  Replies (9) Good night (1016) Bad night (666)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?

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  (703): His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into? http://tfl.nu/n657
  Replies (32) Good night (1002) Bad night (4016)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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  (515): i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move. http://tfl.nu/cgsd
  Replies (22) Good night (1022) Bad night (4461)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons

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  (720): we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons http://tfl.nu/079e
  Replies (4) Good night (4950) Bad night (687)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.

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  (571): the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans. http://tfl.nu/yvak
  Replies (48) Good night (6728) Bad night (1164)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.

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  (514): I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case. http://tfl.nu/sce4
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (4160)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3779) Bad night (1585)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  When are you comin back?

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons

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  (253): When are you comin back? (1-253): probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons http://tfl.nu/lgag
  Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (765)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (3054)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there

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  (215): i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there http://tfl.nu/r3g3
  Replies (9) Good night (850) Bad night (2581)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.

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  (716): Guess what I signed up for?!?!?! (1-716): Please tell me you're not selling your eggs. http://tfl.nu/5jqi
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (415)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  it's too much effort for something that isn't food.

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  (864): it's too much effort for something that isn't food. http://tfl.nu/kjmt
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (362)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.

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  (832): I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement. http://tfl.nu/0r09
  Replies (1) Good night (690) Bad night (374)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos

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  (515): I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos http://tfl.nu/3cx3
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (461)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.

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  (941): Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you. http://tfl.nu/c2ul
  Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (352)

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