I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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