Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
