Fine. I'll sleep in my office
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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