I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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