You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
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You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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