I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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