So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
