If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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