I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So apparently I’m into choking now
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