So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
