I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
