I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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