So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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