Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize