Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
