Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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