Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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