I wish i was in the wii world.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize