she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
