There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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