Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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