No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This is my gift to your gina
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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