My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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