he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
