dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
