So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
