Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
