when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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