sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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