I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
