She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
