So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
