I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize