Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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