I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
