Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
