Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
