I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize