i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
