o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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