She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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